Listening closely to your prospects and customers can be challenging, especially since the mind can process words at a rate of approximately 500 words per minute, but people talk at a rate of approximately 150 words per minute. Perhaps you’ve had the experience of listening to a customer and realizing your attention has been pulled away by distracting thoughts. You can use mindful listening skills to help you focus on customers, encourage them to talk, and identify their needs and challenges.
One effective mindful listening skill is the technique of paraphrasing what your customers say. I learned about this important skill while in college, working on a telephone crisis intervention hotline. During my training for the job, the supervisor’s instruction to “repeat what the callers say back to them” was confusing. I said, “You want me to repeat what the callers say back to them? Wouldn’t that be awkward?” The supervisor looked at me with a twinkle in her eye. “You think it would be awkward to repeat what the callers say back to them?” I nodded emphatically. “Yes, I do! (pause) Oooh. Now I get it.”
When you repeat your customer’s messages back, it creates understanding and shows the customer you’re listening. It also leaves room for a customer to say, “I didn’t exactly mean that, what I really meant was this.” You can either paraphrase the customer’s words throughout your conversation, or when your customer is finished answering your questions, by saying, “Just so I can make sure I understand . . .,” and then summarize what you just heard.
People love to have someone take an interest in what they say. The more you listen, the more you can learn, and the more you learn, the greater the probability of uncovering a need your product or service can fulfill. You can even practice mindful listening skills with family and friends—they’ll likely appreciate your attention to them!
Top baseball players don’t get a hit every time they’re up to bat. If they get 3 hits out of 10 at-bats, they’re doing great.
Same with top salespeople. They don’t close 100% of their sales. They get a certain number of “no’s.”
Hearing the word “no” is part of the selling process. If customers said “yes” all the time, companies wouldn’t need salespeople; they’d only need order-takers.
But some salespeople can feel rejected and become despondent when hearing “no” all day.
Research out of The University of Michigan suggests that the brain processes rejection the same way it processes physical injury. No wonder people can become despondent!
As a career sales professional and a mindfulness instructor, I’d like to put a different spin on the idea of rejection in sales.
One of the concepts I teach in mindfulness is to become aware of the stories you tell yourself. When a prospect says no, do you tell yourself a story that you were rejected?
Consider instead that the prospect simply is not in a place to engage with you at this time.
Maybe you caught the prospect on a bad day.
Maybe the prospect buys from her brother-in-law.
Maybe anything.
If you’re a sales professional, encountering prospects who are not ready to engage is part of your job.
I recommend meeting each prospect or customer with the expectation of moving the sale forward. However, if you meet resistance, know that it’s part of your job. See if you can understand it, so you can figure out your next step.
Note that I said if you meet resistance, not if you meet rejection. Resistance is about the customer’s state of mind.
And that’s what sales is all about. Focusing on your customer’s state of mind: understanding your customers, discovering their needs, and seeing if you can serve them.
Developing your power of awareness can help power your sales results.
Awareness can help you recognize your internal experiences, such as negative thoughts that could impede your success. For instance, if you hear the economy is in a slump, do you tell yourself a story that your sales will collapse as well? Once you realize you might be harboring a negative thought, you can release it—and replace it with a positive thought, such as “My sales remain strong in all economic conditions.”
Awareness can also help you clear your mind, so you can focus on your external experience—in a sales situation, that would be what your customers are communicating. As your customers talk, pay close attention to verbal and non-verbal cues to help you build rapport, identify needs, and recognize opportunities.
A great way to develop your power of awareness is through practicing meditation, even for short periods of time. Meditation is like taking time out from chopping the tree to sharpen the axe. Your mind is your main selling tool, so it’s vital to keep it sharp, whether through meditation or other techniques.
Mindfulness can help you clear your mind—and increase your sales.
Have you ever been fully engaged with the present moment? Perhaps you’ve experienced present moment awareness when taking a morning jog, or playing fetch with your dog, or watching the ebb and flow of ocean waves. Bringing this quality of awareness to your sales efforts can help you understand your clients and their buying processes—and increase your sales.
Yet, developing present moment awareness can be challenging. People are often pulled away from the present with thoughts that cycle through their minds. Regrets about the past. Worries about the future. Planning. Reminiscing. Ruminating. It’s widely reported that the human mind thinks 50,000-70,000 thoughts per day!
STUFF
I call this mental content “STUFF,” which is an acronym for Stories, Thoughts, Urges, Frustrations, and Feelings. People don’t always realize this STUFF is present. It works in the background of the mind like a silent partner, informing and influencing behavior. Although STUFF helps people navigate through life, it can also cloud their thinking.
How STUFF Can Sabotage Sales Success
Imagine a sales call where you’re distracted by thoughts. Maybe you’re worried about meeting your sales quota or landing the account. If your attention is momentarily pulled away, it might be at the moment your client says, “If your software could save us time, that would make a big difference to management.” You could miss this important buying signal if you weren’t fully focused on the present.
Or, imagine being on a call where you have negative preconceived notions, such as I’m probably wasting my time since they don’t have the budget, or I doubt I’ll close this sale. These thoughts won’t serve you. If you’re not conscious of them, they may become a self-fulfilling prophecy, since people will unconsciously match their behavior to their beliefs to create consistency between thought and action.
Even positive preconceived notions can cloud your thinking. For instance, if you’re certain of closing the sale, you could miss important steps in the selling process. Let’s say a client has asked you to stop by their office and it sounds like they’re ready to buy. If you think this sale is a sure thing, you might skip asking important qualifying questions—such as finding out who else is involved in the purchasing decision.
How Mindfulness Helps the Selling Process
Alternatively, imagine approaching the call with present moment awareness. This quality of awareness can help you notice distracting thoughts and refocus your attention. It can also help you notice any preconceived notions, so you can recognize stories you may be telling yourself that aren’t necessarily true. As the old saying goes, “Don’t believe everything you think.” Becoming aware of your STUFF can be a reminder to focus on the present, with a clear, open mind, ready to explore your client’s needs and concerns.
Present moment awareness will also help you notice cues to your client’s thinking. You may become more aware of your client’s body language, such as posture changes, that can signal likes or dislikes. You may become more aware of your client’s audio cues, such as shifts in voice inflection, that can help guide your responses. You may become more aware of subtle, underlying issues as you listen closely to your client’s words.
Simple Ways to Become More Mindful
Clearing the STUFF in your mind will help you develop present moment awareness—also called mindfulness. One effective way to practice being mindful is through the practice of meditation. Meditation is a mental training that is akin to taking your mind out of drive and resting it in neutral, if only for a moment. This training allows you to become aware of your STUFF, so you can respond to situations consciously, rather than react unconsciously.
In meditation, you continually interrupt your STUFF by focusing on a neutral object (called an anchor) that doesn’t stimulate your mind. Examples of commonly used anchors are: your breath; your body’s sensations; a word repeated silently, such as peace; sounds, such as ocean waves; or an object to hold, such as a smooth stone. Every time your mind wanders, gently refocus on your anchor.
Beginning meditators may be surprised at the amount of STUFF they notice. The intent of meditation isn’t to suppress thoughts and feelings. Consider anything that draws attention from your anchor to be like a cloud passing, or like a boat floating by as you watch from the riverbank. Allow it to pass without judgment, and gently refocus on your anchor. The repetitive action of refocusing builds your mind’s muscle and your power of awareness—and trains you to focus on the here and now.
Mindful Prepping for your Sales Meeting
Consider taking time to meditate before your sales call. For example, once your car is parked, sit comfortably and gently lower your eyelids. (Note: don’t attempt meditation while driving!) Start by sitting up straight, without being rigid. Try to release any physical tension, and keep your body relaxed but your mind alert.
Rest your attention on your breathing, without changing anything—just notice. You may notice the pace of your breathing, or the coolness of the air as you inhale and its warmth as you exhale, or the rising and falling of your chest. You could even silently say “rising, falling” with each breath to help you focus. Each time your attention wanders, often each second or two for beginners, gently refocus on your breath. Continue with this practice for a few minutes or more. You may want to set a timer, since it’s not uncommon for beginning meditators to fall asleep when their bodies and minds relax.
Now, imagine going into your client’s office. As you begin your meeting, become aware of the quality of your attention. Notice if you’re able to focus on your client, or if your thoughts are elsewhere. Any time you notice your thoughts wandering away from your client, gently bring them back. Consider your client to be your anchor. Keep your attention on your client’s words, actions, and body language.
A Clear Path to Sales Success
Bringing present moment awareness to your meeting can help you uncover needs, understand objections, and recognize buying signals. Having a clear, open mind will serve both you and your client, as it helps build understanding and can lead to long-term relationships. Instead of focusing on closing the sale, consider focusing on the present moment for a clear path to sales success.
Many people find that managing stress at work can be helped with regular meditation. One effective tool to use in the workplace is a walking meditation. Here’s a situation where a busy executive uses walking meditation to deal with a challenging situation:
While this executive is getting ready for a big presentation in her workplace, her top client calls and says he’s taking his business to another company. The executive is overcome with a whirlwind of emotion. Yet, knowing that she needs to focus for her upcoming presentation, she decides to practice a walking meditation. She knows that walking from one point to the next offers her an opportunity to take a meditation break.
She begins a process of walking mindfully down the corridor of her office building, noticing where her feet connect with the ground. She becomes aware of feelings each time they arise, then shifts her awareness back to her feet. She still has many mixed emotions, but the practice of shifting her awareness to her feet helps her feel more balanced and centered.
She uses a process of walking while silently repeating the words lifting, moving, placing, shifting to help keep her focused in the present moment. As she lifts her right leg, she silently says to herself, “lifting.” As she moves her right leg forward, she silently says, “moving,” as she places her foot on the ground she silently says, “placing,” and as she shifts all her weight to her right foot, she silently says, “shifting.” Then she begins the process again with her left leg: lifting, moving, placing, shifting. She continues silently repeating these words to herself as she continues to walk.
A walking meditation can be done most anywhere, anytime, even for just a couple of minutes. By using simple techniques to help manage stress at work, employee well-being and productivity can dramatically increase.
